PMS - PMDD - PS, I love you

I have had (undiagnosed) PMDD for almost two decades. I say undiagnosed because doctors have just started to recognize that there are some of us out there that have PMS - on steroids. I have been trying to maintain the symptoms of the disorder for as long as I have been menstruating but recently, it became too much for me to manage on my own. I am not a fan of prescription drugs but things got out of hand - I was not going to work, nor was I cleaning up behind myself, nor was I even wanting to get out of bed. I didn't enjoy anything the way I used to enjoy it. All in all, I was depressed. And it went from that once a month depression to an every day thing that I couldn't shake. So, Operation Zoloft commenced.


I know that on a regular day in my life, I am no picnic. I am stubborn, slightly egotistical, and my self-professed claim to fame is that I hold a 95% record for being right...about everything that comes out of my mouth. But PMDD and the resulting depression made me unbearable. I liken the change to the metamorphosis that occurs when you pour water on one of Gizmo's brethren. I was something odd, yet cute, with a little bit of bite turned rabid Gremlin.

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With that said, this disorder getting out of hand has been a good thing for me. It forced me to get the Zoloft, whereas my previously prideful nature would have made me exhaust every other possibility. Looking back on it, I feel sorry for my high school sweetheart. He always said that he was scared to be around me when I was riding the crimson wave. I thought that he was exaggerating, but now I see that he wasn't. (I'm sorry, Greg!)

I see that I have to stay on top of this for the rest of my reproductive years. For all of the other sufferers out there, we can do it! Even though I only used the Zoloft for a month, it was enough for me to recognize that the problem is real and I was able to develop a dialogue to use with my loved ones when I am going through my "rough period" - pun intended.